i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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