it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we're making bets on your personal life
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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