This dress was meant to end up on your floor
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
