D3 body, D1 cock
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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