If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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