literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Everything about him screamed your future.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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