Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
