If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
