Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
