My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
