I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
