Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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