who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
