I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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