I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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