just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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