who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
