At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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