I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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