DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
