I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
