so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
