I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
