shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
