I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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