I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
