i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
