this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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