how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
