i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
