he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
