He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
