pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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