she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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