dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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