Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
