You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
