why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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