I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The struggles of a small town man whore
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
