Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
