Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
