true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
