I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
