Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
