im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
