not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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