i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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