Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
