dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
