he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
